The Continuing Adventures of a Dementia Carer

Welcome to this Blog. This blog aims to be an honest picture of what it is like to live with and care for someone who has dementia. I'm not writing this from any position of authority or claiming to be an expert on the subject, actually it's more of an outlet, a release mechanism which will hopefully strike a few chords with other people who are in a similar situation to myself. You are probably wondering about the title. This has become a catch phrase in our family as you will find out if you read on...

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

In which I explain the title...

You are probably wondering how I came up with title of this blog. No? well I'm going to tell you anyway.

"This was on the last time I was here" has become a familiar catchphrase in our family and always provokes a smile, a laugh or an exasperated "Oh Grandma" from my daughter. It's a phrase that has been with us for many years now and so seemed to be the perfect title for my blog.

Over the course of the last five or so years since Mum has been living with us, it's become very clear to us that she no longer has any appreciation of the passing of time and so really does not understand fully that she has been living with us for over half a decade. To her, she's just visiting, one of many visits and so, everytime a TV programme comes on that is familiar we always get "This was on the last time I was here" as she vaguely remembers having seen it before but associates it with a previous visit.

The phrase is usually followed by an exasperated "Grandma, you've been living here for over five years!" from said daughter or sometimes from me, usually with the response "Oh have I, it doesn't seem that long"

There are variations on a theme as well such as "Well it wasn't like this the last time I was here" which usually happens when we take her out and usually to some place she has never been to!!! (One day I will write about the infamous Cornwall holiday where this phrase was done to death and I nearly jumped into the sea and swam away!!!)

You know, sometimes, I am envious of Mum's apparent superpower of ignoring the passage of time. It might be nice sometimes just to ditch all the bad memories and regrets and grief and start afresh. Oh well, watch this space, this could be my daughter writing a blog like this in 30 years time. Be careful what you wish for!!!

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